My character Massie

General information

Name: Massie Swift

Age: 12

Nickname: Mass

Persional Information

Personality: She is awesome.But doesn't like anyone much.Massie has a good attitude most of the time.She likes magic,spells and she hates most people and most preps.

History: Massie grew up in Hogmed and she had lots of friends but then she didn't have a bond with them because the matured faster than she did.And they were talking about other things Massie didn't like so they broke apart.And she got the letter for Hogwarts so shes going there.

Appearance Information

Height: 5'2

Weight: 100 lbs

Appearance: She has a Hogwarts uniform on and a wand.She has deep brown hair.She has ice blue eyes.And she has a locket

School Information

House: Griffendor

Year: 2nd year

Wand: The wood is oak.The core is made of unicorn hair and a owl feather,its 5 inches long.

Rank(s): A Hogwarts student

Spell Point: 2

RP Sample

RP Sample: Massie was walking thorough the halls of the Griffendor building with her 4 bags searching for her room.The she found her rooms sat her stuff down and went outside.It was her 2nd year at Hogwarts and she loved Hogwarts.

You need one more line on your history and personality. You also need better grammar. Only one core, and you should say if it is strong, flimsy, etc. Put more on appearance, and your RP sample is kind of sloppy. If you could fix that as well, then you will have a MUCH better chance of being approved.