my chracter Elendril

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my chracter Elendril

Post by Elendril on Wed Dec 16, 2009 10:34 pm

Name: Elendril Hades

Age: 13

Nickname: (1-3) Hades

Persional Information likes to change his shape in the night

Personality: he loves to play around like puting charm's on people how make him made he is very smart lerning spell at a youn age he new 50 by five he is very nice he will help people in need if they need help he is realy silly if the time doesent need to be serious he likes dualing and exploring places he dislikes people giting picked on he hates it when people are disrespectful to other's
History: he is of pure blood he grew up whith his family learning spell's before he went to hogwart's he was taught to be a auro at a young age he was so goood tht they said as soon as he gradjuated from hogwart's he could be one but he need to have his duplomu first so his parent's told him as soon as he was old unuf he could go to hogwart's so he trained hoping he coud gradjuat at a erlear age
Appearance Informationavatar

Height: 5/2

Weight: 120
Appearance:e=where's a house robe and some black shoes

School Information

House: Griffendor

Year: 3

Wand: Wood black laurel Core :Phoenix Tail Feather: Length,14 in
Rank(s): Grffendor Prefect

Additional Classes: Divination, Care of Magical Creatures, and Arithmancy

RP Sample
RP Sample:eElendril is walking down the street and see's a wizard out of the corner of his eye he turn's to talk to the wizard the wizard see's him and does Aguamenti
Elendril then counter's whith Finite Incantatem after that Elendril then does Expelliarmus when the wand is on the ground he say's stat yhour porpuous or I will destroy you where you stand but the wizard say's i am a travelerand I thot you where here to attack me I am sorry for what I have done socan you forgive me for mydisrespect no! elendril say's you will pay for this Confundo !


Last edited by Elendril on Wed Dec 16, 2009 10:59 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Elendril
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Male Posts : 3
Points : 7
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Join date : 2009-12-16
Age : 21

Character sheet
House: gryffindor
Year: 3

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Re: my chracter Elendril

Post by Kalina on Wed Dec 16, 2009 10:45 pm

Ok Five things:

#1: Put your RP sample after where it says "RP Sample" in Bold, not underlined.

#2: Better Grammar Please.

#3: Basalisk items are PROHIBITED from all wands. All dangerou items are.

#4: Your RP Sample is Sloppy. This is one warning. If it is still sloppy after you edit, you will be denied the character Application, and will have to wait 24 hours before you may edit it.

#5: Please follow the instructions I put in the Template.
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Kalina
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Re: my chracter Elendril

Post by Kalina on Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:01 pm

You application is Denied

For 3 reasons.

#1: Better Grammar Please.

#2: Your RP Sample is Sloppy.

#3: Follow the instructions I put in the Template.

This topic will be locked. You will not be able to edit it until 24 hours has passed.
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Kalina
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Re: my chracter Elendril

Post by Giera on Sat Dec 19, 2009 9:29 am

This will be your todo list
1. Read everything through (It doesnt make sense o.o He likes to change shape at night? "how make him made he is very smart lerning spell at a youn age he new 50 by five"? There are many more... You dont use a single dot or comma)

2. Remove the gryffindor prefect, and replace with student. (You will not be approved as prefect im sorry, you can gain this title later on though in RP, and that is even more respected, than just signing up for it, so go for it ^^)

3.In the RPsample, please use "(the thing you say)". As it is now its very confusing. many of the spells you use requires 4 spellpoints meaning you cant use it as 3year. I dont think it has any effect on the sample, but dont use it in the RP.

waiting for your approval ^^
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Join date : 2009-12-13
Age : 24
Location : G 15 spellpoints, M 7

Character sheet
House: N/A, Slytherin
Year: 15, 7th

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